HER: It's Valentine's Day tomorrow...he's been distracted, asking me odd questions, have I looked under the couch lately... I just KNOW he's planning a surprise! What could it be, I wonder?
HIM: I can't find the TV remote. Bugger.
HER: Yes, he's definitely up to something, when I asked about our plans for tomorrow he was all vague and 'we'll see'...I wonder if he's booked a table at the new restaurant I was raving about?
HIM: There's a match on. Wonder if Amazon can send a new remote by tomorrow?
HER: He left his laptop open on his AMAZON page! He never goes on Amazon!!! Tempted to look and see what he ordered... jewellery????
HIM: They can't. Well, that's bollocks. I know, her dad will be watching the match, won't he?
HER: He's suggested we go to Mum and Dad's!!! He's going to propose, isn't he? Wants them to be there to witness our joy!! I am SO EXCITED!! Better dig out something special to wear, and that nice perfume...
HIM: Better take some beer. Her old man can put down the Fosters when there's a match on.
HER: And now he's gone to the Off Licence... He'll have gone to buy some of that Moet Chandon they do; otherwise he'd just have gone to the supermarket....
HIM: Bloody lucky the offie has a 'special' on... ten cans for nine quid, bargain! Hope United put up a better performance than last time, mind you, that ref wants shooting.
HER: Should I get him a card with 'To My Love' on? Or 'To My Fiance'? No, that's a bit previous, better pretend I don't suspect a thing, he'll be disappointed if he realises how transparent he is, bless him!
HIM: Oh, there's the remote! Great, can watch the match and drink the Fosters myself, don't have to move all afternoon. Why does she keep on about tomorrow being special? She doesn't even SUPPORT United....
Apologies for the sexism, footballism and general cynicism...
(PS, I know it's not always true, some men are romantic, some women aren't, and not all men like football...)
3 comments:
So true. There's really nothing more to add :)
I love Football, just not your kind. Canadian Football League is a little different than NFL. No round balls. Sorry.
I liked the mind bubbles post, by the way.
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