For today I wish to draw your attention to a book. Yes, yes, I know, nothing new there, I'm so perpetually drawing your attention to my books that you buy them merely as a form of self defence - but today I'm beckoning you hither in my comely fashion in order to appreciate another book.
Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens. Yes, this one. You can buy it here.
And, in honour of this publication, I have been allowed to ask the fragrant Jonathan Pinnock a few searching questions. Here are the results...
If you were a cheese, what kind would you be?
Pont l'Eveque. Bit alien, crustier than Camembert and more than a little smelly.
What is your favourite T shirt slogan?
"I am a bomb disposal technician. If you see me running, try to keep up." Although the effect is usually ruined by having this printed on the front rather than the back.
Dalek or Cyberman, and why?
Dalek every time. The Cybermen always remind me of Wallace in the Wrong Trousers.
What would Mrs Darcy put in a time capsule to be discovered in a hundred years?
Funnily enough, she did precisely this and I've found it. But I've been sworn to secrecy. All I can say is that when it is finally revealed, it will change everything. Forget faster than light travel. This is the real deal.
Mr Darcy versus Wickham – who would win in a fist fight?
I ... hold on, I thought you said something else there. Phew. So, Darcy vs Wickham? Don't know really but it would be worth staging, if only to hear Lizzy crying out "Leave 'im, Fitzy, 'e's not worth it!"
If you could abolish one piece of beaurocracy, what would it be?
I think it might be fun to abolish the law of gravity. We once had to write about life without gravity at school and one of my mates said that everyone would have to wear heavy boots to weigh them down. He's a top banker now. True story.
And if you want to chat about anything else...inflatable Daleks, top five Carry On film moments... anything...(only not the one where Barbara Windsor's top flies off. Everyone says that.)
Actually I have a question about inflatable daleks. The plunger arm thing on ours is always a bit limp, however often we blow it up. Does anyone out there have any cures for plunger dysfunction?
So now you know a little more about the insurpassably lovely Mr Pinnock, perhaps you'd like to take a little potter on over to his blog at http://networkedblogs.com/nwBEa and see what he has to say about me?
You can go armed, if you must...