I fall out with hashtags. I thought there would be recipes and...well...far more Sherlock, to put it frankly.

#OscarNoms said the little sidebar thingy on Twitter that tries to get me interested in things, mostly in vain.  Oooh, that's nice, I thought.  I was expecting recipes, nibbly things to eat whilst watching the Oscars ceremony.  Not that I do, of course, it's far too late at night and filled with people with beards that I've never heard of, that's the people, not the beards, of course I've heard of beards, I don't live in a bucket.  But it's the principle of the thing - the thing, obviously being food.

Well.  Apparently in this instance, 'Noms' was short for 'Nominations'.  So instead of a hundred things to do with a piece of cheese and a dollop of mayonnaise, all I got was a list of names of people (probably all with beards) that I've never heard of!

These, for the record, are NOT Oscar Noms.  I've hardly ever been so disappointed.

Then I find #StoryofmyLife.  This will be interesting, I thought.  People writing the story of their life in 140 characters or less... Wondered about trying to sum up my own in 140 characters.  But I pretty much started out as an innocent with a porridge fixation, like Goldilocks and have ended up as a high-functioning sociopath, ie, Sherlock.  So, that's pretty much my life story in just two characters.  Although, for a while there in the middle I was a bit more of The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, so I suppose we should call it three characters, for completion's sake.

From this...

Via this...

To this. I think I turned out all right, but, by heck, that scarf does itch...

But do you know what?  When I went over to #Storyofmylife, filled with eager expectations of people trying to sum up their lives with nothing but recourse to fairy tale characters or, of course, people with beards I'd never heard of, do you know what I got?

It's a song, apparently.  Not an interesting discourse on expressing one's self through tropes.

Twitter, you are far too open to misunderstandings.  I demand that all hashtags be properly expressed. Although I think that #StoryofmylifebywhichImeanthe1Directionsongandnotafarmoreinterestingproposition might be more than 140 characters.  Sigh.