Vampire State of Mind imminent. No, not eminent, I know the difference. Plus, bonus photo of Margaret James, Linda Mitchelmore and me!

I'm back!  And, once again, I can tell by the lack of surprise and delight on your faces that you didn't even realise I had gone... Sigh.  One day you are going to miss me, I tell you.  One day...

So.  "Where were you?" I hear you cry, in my fondest imaginings, for the real sound that I am hearing from you is the determined crunching of toast  and the occasional slurp, as you read my loving outpourings in a desultory manner over breakfast.  "Where were you, Jane? For we missed your sharp, observational wit, your bon mots, and the slight, but inexplicable smell of onion chutney which accompanies you."  Obviously, I am assuming that you would say this, if you'd noticed I was gone, so I'm filling in the gaps for you, to prevent you from having to put your tea down.

Well, my lovelies.  I was here...

Which, in case you don't recognise it, and if you don't then you clearly did not find the Onedin Line to be the engrossing saga of ordinary ship-owning folk that the rest of us did - it's Exeter Quay. To be precise, I was in the whole city, not just the quay.  Most specifically, doing this...

Yes, it was the finals of the World Sitting Down event! This is myself and my fellow Choc Lit authors (well, two of them, there are lots of us really but we wouldn't all have fitted in the room, besides, then I wouldn't have stood a chance in the Sitting Down Finals...).  You can see me here, in full sitting-down mode, also talking at some length (you can tell I'm pontificating from the glazed expressions on the backs of the heads of some of the audience), with Margaret James and Linda Mitchelmore. Presiding over us, also preventing us from descending into anarchy and rolling around on the floor making 'whoop whoop' noises, is the lovely Cathie Hartigan. And what were we talking about, I also don't hear you ask, but am, again, filling in for you?  Well, we were there to speak about Writing Romance.  Which is what we do.  Margaret was talking about her war-trilogy, The Silver Locket, The Golden Chain and The Penny Bangle.  Linda was talking about To Turn Full Circle, and I was muttering about my forthcoming Vampire State of Mind.

In fact, now I come to think of it, Vampire State of Mind is released on Tuesday.  You can buy it here .  In fact, I insist on it.  Go on, it's cheap at the moment... Although, if you are reading this some time in the future, it might not be cheap any more, it may only be available in its gold-plated version, with the diamond encrusted cover, and you are going to positively kick yourselves that you didn't get the more reasonably priced paper one.

So, there we were, in Exeter library, talking to some lovely people who asked some very perceptive questions and seemed pleased with the answers.  Some of them, the more discerning ones, obviously, even bought books.  And they laughed at me, although none of them pointed, which is always a plus, and no-one asked about the smell of chutney, so, all in all, a good evening!  And my millions of thanks go to Cathie, for refereeing us so splendidly, and to Margaret and Linda, for talking sense to the audience and giving them their money's worth, while I rambled, and tried to refrain from saying 'wee' or anything.

And finally, a nice picture of Montacute House, where I also went.  I used to live there, you know.  Montacute, I mean, not the house, although of course I lived in a house, it wasn't the house...

It's bigger than this in real life. Obviously.